I hit rock bottom in my life. No details will be provided other than to say, included in that bottom is the issue of me having a hoarding problem. After considering all the things that one does when one deals with when extremely depressed and facing the bottom; recognizing that I am not ready to go on to my next life (not done with this one yet), I broke down and asked for help. And ho boy. I got help. As in lots and unbelievable help. Setting aside the money issues, the hoard was a problem that I didn't even address with my hero & shero.
I had been picked up and taken to my folk's house in the town just south of me. I thought we would be talking in a coffee shop, but no. They took me home and fed me and we talked and went over everything. And then, I was taken back to my car several hours later (and, just in time to avoid my car being towed because it had been there too long). As we were pulling into the parking space next to my car, My StepMom told me that she would be at my apartment at 10 the following Saturday and we would start work on the hoard. She hugged me and sent me on my way.
I got home and cried. And cried.
T, except when I've been sick, has been to my apartment every weekend. She has worked with me for several hours, helped me haul stuff for keeping and/or sorting later to my storage unit. She has hauled stuff to the dumpster. She has taken all of the pre-packaged Goodwill boxes to the Goodwill and taken two boxes of shredding home to shred. I had given myself permission to pay for the shredding, but she refused that option.
One of the things that she explained to me was that when I no longer had money, I had forgotten how to be a poor person and that my mindset was still at "Ms. Got Rocks." And she's right. I've had to let her know about any purchases and provide why it is a need and not a want. Oh, the difference between need and want is something that we need to re-learn over and over again. And so, I am learning.
I know that I have a few more weeks to go on the current part of the hoard clean-out. The next part will be going through all the books to determine what to keep and what to sell/donate/give away. That will be a several days/weeks project on its own. I have 8 full size bookshelves along with boxes of books. BOXES! I already know that most of the fiction is going. A large chunk of the cookbooks is going. Oh, and the knitting supplies that I cannot use due to arthritis. There are bins of yarn; drawers of needles and other accessories; and shelves of books. The spinning wheel I will be keeping, but I should part ways with the bins of wool for spinning. And so on.
And that's where I've been and will be for the next few weeks.
It is October and the start of the Shadow months. Some of my brethren wall it "witchy season." Guys, every day is witchy season. The Shadow months are those months where we focus on the inner self. The shadow side. We work to heal what needs to be healed. And we acknowledge that we are humans in need of healing. And self-love. I doubt that I'll post much on that as it is a deeply personal activity, however I may share sources for those who are interested. If you are reading this and have an interest, post a comment.
Brightest Blessings to you.
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